Well folks, I’ve finally caved and ordered an iPad. After watching the entire keynote on YouTube, and all of Apple’s TV ads on their website, it got me thinking. There’s just so many voids in my life it can fill with an iPad because it’s just such an awesome product!
First of all, I should preface this guide by saying that you’ll never be more of a Wii Fanboy than I am. But what if I was killed in some horrific Wii Sports accident; involving a fishtank, perhaps? All the wannabe Wii Fanboys out there would need a comprehensive guide to being the Ultimate Wii Fanboy. Of course I would always be the FIRST Wii Fanboy, and all my successors would only be Wii Fanboys in my image, understand?
Secondly, just to make my first point clear, you can’t just go out and register some domain name and suddenly be a Fanboy. I’m the only true Wii Fanboy. But it’s admirable to try and own me, even though you won’t.
Thirdly, and this is the my most important point. Being a Wii Fanboy is not about how much you like playing games on the Wii. You must download all the Virtual Console games, that goes without saying. You don’t have to play them, I mean they are all like 20 years old. But you must download them all. VC games are far superior to those Wii games you get on discs nowadays. All those expensive new Wii games are crap. They’re all just flashy graphics and the gameplay is totally uninteresting. Plus, there’s the inconvenience of having to go out and actually buy the things. Then if that’s not bad enough, you have to actually insert the damn disc! How inconvenient! No, the true Wii Fanboy doesn’t concern himself with such trivial things as the latest Wii releases. It’s all about Wii accessories and how many you own. This, my young padawan is the true essense of the Wii Fanboy.
Well, that intro was longer than the Super Mario Galaxy opening sequence. Read on to discover your true destiny as a Wii Fanboy.